Essays
Formal Essay #1- House on Mango Street- Reflection
For our first Formal Essay, we wrote about House on Mango Street. The prompt for this essay was, "In the Novella House on Mango Street, how does Esperanza change?" My thesis for this essay was, "Esperanza changes from an insecure child to a confident young woman." On this essay I received a 3. I think I got a 3 because I followed format, but my commentary was not very strong and some of my writing was awkward. I think one of my strengths was how well I followed format. Some things that I think need improvement is my quote choice and trying not to repeat things, because I do that a good amount of the time. On my next formal essay I will take time to talk to Erin about how to improve my writing and, in particular, to better understand the format.
Timed Writing #2- Book Club Book One- Bless Me, Ultima- Reflection
My first timed writing was on my first book club book, Bless Me, Ultima. The prompt for this essay was, "How does the main character change throughout the story?" My thesis for this essay was, "Antonio cannot make his own decisions about life, but towards the end of the book he feels more confident about his decisions." On this essay I received a 3. I think I got a 3 because I had a repetition problem and some awkward writing. I think some of my strengths included being able to write in present tense and follow format. I think some things that need improvement are my repetitions and explaining things more clearly. My goal for my next timed writing is to really take my time to describe things and explain things in depth.
Timed Writing #3- Book Club Book #3- Dying to Cross- Reflection
The prompt of this essay was, "What is the theme (the author's universal message) of this story?" The thesis I came up with for this essay was, "In Dying to Cross, the author teaches the readers that no matter the distance or possible consequences people are determined to fulfill their hopes and dreams of a better life in America." On this essay I received a 3. I think I received a 3 because a few times in my essay my writing was getting too general and I wasn't really talking about the book anymore. On the other hand, I think I again was able to follow format very well. Something that I think I need to improve on is to take more pre-writing time, so I can stay true to the storyline.
Timed writing #4- Into the Wild- Reflection
The prompt for this essay was, "After reading and reflecting on Jon Krakauer's book, Into the Wild, what can be learned from the McCandless story?" The thesis I came up with for this prompt was, "Chris McCandless' story teaches readers that all actions have consequences." The score I received on this essay was a 3. The biggest weakness I had in this essay is that some of it was too obvious. Another weakness is that I forgot part of the format, and ended up leaving out a piece of commentary. A strength in this essay was the quotes that I chose. I really looked hard to find relevant and powerful quotes relating to the story. Something that I think I could improve upon in my timed writings is to work on the way I explain things and try to prove things, so that the reader better understands what I am saying.
One area that I think I improved in while turning this into a formal essay was my commentary. I think it turned out very well after I was able to revise it and re-think it. Another area I think showed improvement was my use of quotes. I was able to shorten them and make them more coherent. Some areas that still need improvement are my topics sentences. I think I could have changed them more and made them more relevant to the writing. Lastly, one area that still needed improvement was trying not to make some lines awkward.
For our first Formal Essay, we wrote about House on Mango Street. The prompt for this essay was, "In the Novella House on Mango Street, how does Esperanza change?" My thesis for this essay was, "Esperanza changes from an insecure child to a confident young woman." On this essay I received a 3. I think I got a 3 because I followed format, but my commentary was not very strong and some of my writing was awkward. I think one of my strengths was how well I followed format. Some things that I think need improvement is my quote choice and trying not to repeat things, because I do that a good amount of the time. On my next formal essay I will take time to talk to Erin about how to improve my writing and, in particular, to better understand the format.
Timed Writing #2- Book Club Book One- Bless Me, Ultima- Reflection
My first timed writing was on my first book club book, Bless Me, Ultima. The prompt for this essay was, "How does the main character change throughout the story?" My thesis for this essay was, "Antonio cannot make his own decisions about life, but towards the end of the book he feels more confident about his decisions." On this essay I received a 3. I think I got a 3 because I had a repetition problem and some awkward writing. I think some of my strengths included being able to write in present tense and follow format. I think some things that need improvement are my repetitions and explaining things more clearly. My goal for my next timed writing is to really take my time to describe things and explain things in depth.
Timed Writing #3- Book Club Book #3- Dying to Cross- Reflection
The prompt of this essay was, "What is the theme (the author's universal message) of this story?" The thesis I came up with for this essay was, "In Dying to Cross, the author teaches the readers that no matter the distance or possible consequences people are determined to fulfill their hopes and dreams of a better life in America." On this essay I received a 3. I think I received a 3 because a few times in my essay my writing was getting too general and I wasn't really talking about the book anymore. On the other hand, I think I again was able to follow format very well. Something that I think I need to improve on is to take more pre-writing time, so I can stay true to the storyline.
Timed writing #4- Into the Wild- Reflection
The prompt for this essay was, "After reading and reflecting on Jon Krakauer's book, Into the Wild, what can be learned from the McCandless story?" The thesis I came up with for this prompt was, "Chris McCandless' story teaches readers that all actions have consequences." The score I received on this essay was a 3. The biggest weakness I had in this essay is that some of it was too obvious. Another weakness is that I forgot part of the format, and ended up leaving out a piece of commentary. A strength in this essay was the quotes that I chose. I really looked hard to find relevant and powerful quotes relating to the story. Something that I think I could improve upon in my timed writings is to work on the way I explain things and try to prove things, so that the reader better understands what I am saying.
One area that I think I improved in while turning this into a formal essay was my commentary. I think it turned out very well after I was able to revise it and re-think it. Another area I think showed improvement was my use of quotes. I was able to shorten them and make them more coherent. Some areas that still need improvement are my topics sentences. I think I could have changed them more and made them more relevant to the writing. Lastly, one area that still needed improvement was trying not to make some lines awkward.
goodandbadchoices.doc | |
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Final Timed Writing #6 - Outcasts United - Reflection
The prompt for this essay was, "What important 'life' lessons are learned from the Fugee soccer experience?" The thesis I used for this prompt was, "In the book Outcasts United, soccer is able to teach many valuable life lessons." The score I received on this essay was a 3. One of the weaknesses in this essay was that I made general statements about society rather than making statements specific to the characters in the story. Another weakness was that I used really long quotes. One of the strengths I think I had in this writing was good commentary that was to the point. Another strength was how I came up with a good grabber on the spot that had to do with the overall topic. To improve my timed writings I need to do work on my word choice during commentary and writing relevant commentary to specific characters.
Writing Reflection:
Throughout the year, one big improvement on my timed writings was my ability to follow format. In the beginning, about the only format I had was paragraphs to separate my thoughts. Now, at the end of the year, I am able to follow the format very well. Another improvement is my commentary. At the start of the year I didn't even know what commentary really was. But after a lot of help and practice, I think I am now able to create strong, meaningful commentary. I am most proud of my ability to structure my body paragraphs because that is where I think I have done most of my growing. At the same time, I'd say that one of the challenges I still face is being able to come up with great commentary consistently. At the moment I think it is okay, but I would like to grow more in this area. I would also like to consistently come up with good grabbers on the spot when writing.
The prompt for this essay was, "What important 'life' lessons are learned from the Fugee soccer experience?" The thesis I used for this prompt was, "In the book Outcasts United, soccer is able to teach many valuable life lessons." The score I received on this essay was a 3. One of the weaknesses in this essay was that I made general statements about society rather than making statements specific to the characters in the story. Another weakness was that I used really long quotes. One of the strengths I think I had in this writing was good commentary that was to the point. Another strength was how I came up with a good grabber on the spot that had to do with the overall topic. To improve my timed writings I need to do work on my word choice during commentary and writing relevant commentary to specific characters.
Writing Reflection:
Throughout the year, one big improvement on my timed writings was my ability to follow format. In the beginning, about the only format I had was paragraphs to separate my thoughts. Now, at the end of the year, I am able to follow the format very well. Another improvement is my commentary. At the start of the year I didn't even know what commentary really was. But after a lot of help and practice, I think I am now able to create strong, meaningful commentary. I am most proud of my ability to structure my body paragraphs because that is where I think I have done most of my growing. At the same time, I'd say that one of the challenges I still face is being able to come up with great commentary consistently. At the moment I think it is okay, but I would like to grow more in this area. I would also like to consistently come up with good grabbers on the spot when writing.